well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
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