the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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