I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't notice because vodka
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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