i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
