Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble

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(210): View more from Texas

I've decided to bang my pen-pal.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Billy Mays died!

(1-303): View more from Colorado

I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?

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(802): View more from Vermont

does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children

(1-802): View more from Vermont

actually, i try not to think about it

(802): View more from Vermont

and i pooped them out

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird

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(513): View more from Ohio

As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN

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(586): View more from Michigan

I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS

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