i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
