just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
