theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
