She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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