im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
This can only be settled by a dance off.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
