I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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