Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
