yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
