i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
