Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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