im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
