We named our party play list daddy issues
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
My legs feel like baby dolphins
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
