I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
