does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
