found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
