Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
