I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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