I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
