Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
