We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Never joke about your clitoris.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
