Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
he fucked my hip out of place.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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