this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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