He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
