all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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