I'm lost and stupid without you.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Randomize
