I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
