my sisters under your porch take her home
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Randomize
