I seem to have left my pride at pride
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
