Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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