That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
