so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i dont even know how to be here
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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