you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
