And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You have to summon your inner elephant
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
50% drunk capacity currently
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
