Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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