I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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