Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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