This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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