I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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