No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
