The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
