He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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