Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i will never coherently bang her
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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