Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
