You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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