i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I supernannyed him into submission
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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