Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
