Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
