it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
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Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
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Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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