Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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