There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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