Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
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