we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize