I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
